We are, in so many ways, creatures of habit and repetition– pattern-seeking beings at both the conscious and unconscious levels. Unless we actively intervene, each of us are (literally) bound to think the same thoughts, feel the same feelings, tell ourselves the same stories, and unconsciously make the same deleterious choices—and then wonder with dismay why things don’t change. We question how it is that we end up in the same place again and again.
In Eastern philosophy, this is called samskara: the grooves or imprints left on the mind by past actions, thoughts, and experiences. Samskaras are the ruts we fall into, usually without realizing it. They’re the inner architecture of our conditioning and unless/until we bring them into awareness, they quietly run our lives. And for as long as that is happening, we are not free. When we are acting from samskara/conditioning we are acting from compulsion. Despite our best efforts and beliefs, we are not actually choosing anything in the present moment at all. The past is choosing for us.
Neuroscience tells a similar story. The human brain is remarkably efficient. It favors the familiar, defaults to the known. It looks to make meaning for us in the present moment based on past experiences. Every time we repeat a thought or behavior, the associated neural pathways grow stronger. The brain’s wiring becomes more entrenched, like carving a trail into a well-worn path— just like a samskara. It’s no wonder we keep ending up in the same place.
There’s a little story that offers an alternative, written by Portia Nelson, called Autobiography in Five Short Chapters. It goes like this:
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
Every time I read this, I think: this is samskara, and this is also freedom. Both/and.
Straightforward as it may seem, it’s not easy. Escaping our past conditioning is as “simple” as figuring out how to see the hole before you fall in, and then walking around it. But the real road to liberation is recognizing that you can choose a different street altogether. You can do something you have never done before. You can create something you’ve never experienced. That is the real work. The old street is known. The hole is familiar. Sometimes, that hole even feels like home. But the point at which we see ourselves clearly and realize we can choose to create something entirely new? That’s spectacular, breathtaking, life-changing.
True freedom— which is ultimately the journey to the Self— demands that we dig in and excavate the old patterns. We must pull them out, shine the light upon them, get to know and understand them so we can, in moments of presence, decide whether or not that old compulsion serves us. And when it does not, we can learn to choose something different: to align with soul and muster the courage and strength to choose the unknown. Something entirely new. Have I mentioned that this is not easy? Even after the initial insight, there is effort to pause before we act. To feel the pull of the pattern and not follow it. To trust again and again that there is a way forward more beautiful than what we have ever known. And over time, we gently, bravely carve a new groove in the mind, in the body, and in our lives. Infinite possibility.
This process begins when we decide to wake up. When we resolutely declare that we will not, under any circumstances, fall into that hole again. Then we slowly form new patterns and new, healthier samskaras. Until eventually we get free enough to live in the space of conscious creation. Are you tired of walking down the same street and falling into the same holes? What could open up for you if you stopped circling the same street and dared to walk a new one?
~~if you’re curious to learn more about this work, check out my website www.jillsockman.com~~
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